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View Full Version : Be warned!



baz
03-15-2013, 10:43 AM
The door opens to a brothel in Scotland and madam asks "Can i help you sir?" to the very well heeled, well dressed, good looking man.

The well dressed gent asks to see Valerie. "I must see Valerie, is she here?"

"Sir" says the madam "Valerie is, and she is our most expensive Lady, not to many people ask to see Valerie, you do know she charges 5000 a night? maybe you would like to see someone else?

"No, i must see Valerie" madam lets him in and up he goes to the top floor, meeting with Valerie he pulls out a large wad of notes and places them on the bedside table, business done he leaves in the early hours of the next day.

Next day madam opens the door to the same well dressed gent, "I must see Valerie again please, "Wow" says the madam "No one has ever come back for Valerie a second time with her prices, well up you go then sir" same as the night before he pulls out 5000, leaves the wad on the bedside table, does the business, and leaves.

Third day the gent is back, madam opens the door, "I must see Valerie again please?", madam is now more then surprised, "This is the third time now, and in a row, never has anyone ever been back to see Valerie three times..and in a row!, well go on then, up you go"

Upstairs even Valerie is shocked, "I have never had this happen three times in a row...your not getting a discount just because you come back three times, it's the same 5000" "No problem" says the gent, pulls out another large wad of notes, again 5000 in total, does the business, and is just getting ready to leave when Valerie stops him, "I have to ask, this is so weird, never have i had the same gent three times on consecutive nights, where are you from?"

"London" says the gent,

"Oh London, i have family in London" says Valerie.

"I know" says the gent.

"Your sister died and I'm her solicitor, i was instructed to deliver your inheritance of 15,000, in person"

Moral of this story is.

Three things are certain in life.

Death.
Taxes.
And being screwed by a lawyer.

Fishindinar
03-15-2013, 04:35 PM
I had a client that had a picture on the wall behind his desk. The picture was of two guys that ran up to a lawyer and said look I found this oyster and the other guy said, but I picked it up, so the lawyer said give me the oyster. The lawyer opened the oyster and ate the contents and then gave each guy the shell.